New friends are always fun to have. I love making them, you start out having long conversations and then you run out of things to talk about. You end up talking about everything and nothing, then when you find a topic and you exhauste it. You sit there wrecking your brain trying to find something else to talk about. You crack a joke, and gets ignored. Then you wonder if your friend is getting bored with you and you ask them.They ignore the question, and it kind of hurts your feelings, but you let it slide because the friendship is new.
🤔 Now here’s the conundrum how do you explain feelings when all you’re doing is texting. They can’t see your face or hear the inflection in your voice, or know that you’re laughing, or giggling, unless you tell them so.
😱 I forget to do that sometimes, and sometimes the emotions come out wooden, and hollow, or too intense without ever meaning to offend, or scare them off it just happens that way.I’ve been told I have a big heart but sometimes I think it gets in the way. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I just wait and see, maybe it’s just me being paranoid again I don’t want to drive my friend away by saying the wrong thing.
I’m being honest at least with my friend I don’t believe in lying. Though I may have to work on tact. I can be brutally honest and I don’t want to accidentally hurt his feelings or annoy him yes it’s him oh I have female friends that I have the same fears with don’t get me wrong sometimes I think I work too hard or not hard enough. I’m hard on myself when it comes to this kind of thing.
🧐 🤯 🫶 It all comes down to self-esteem and sometimes mine’s not so great it’s hard to show unconditional love to others when you don’t have it for yourself when you feel worthless because you can’t do much you want to go out and have a good time but when pain or because you know you’re too slow and can’t keep up because you have to mosey or you’ll hurt yourself you can be a real pain in the ass let me tell you you always feel like you’re getting left out even when you’re not.
Well I’ll leave you with this.
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To be a good friend you accept them for who they are not what they can do for you you love them for them,unconditionally, warts and all. And Hope and pray that they will do the same for you. Remember in your heart of hearts that not all people are like you. I have come to that realization I laugh at myself when I forget that but there are some really amazing people out there, and never stop trying to make friends.
I don’t.
